I made a list of romantic gifts, but my boyfriend still insists on buying me armadillos for every holiday.

While Sue dreamed of a happy marrage full of love, diamonds, and wine, Jim snuck up from behind prepairing to put armidilows in her purple jumpsuit.

Jessica Simpson waited and thought of what she wanted for Valentines Day from her lover, chocolate candy, or some wine or an engagement ring or possibly a wedding proposal, but her boyfriend was bringing his specialty, 3 armadillos on a platter.

How can I possibly go wrong with a platter of armadillos? No one really wants candy, expensive jewelry or fine wine on Valentine's day.

Jean-Claude was distressed by all these fat rednecks coming to his restaurant - they all ordered roadkill instead of the souffles and wines he so loved.